LOVE THE ONE YOU ARE WITH..

Hello Rafiki! I hope you had a nice Christmas!!

I have made it a tradition that I do no cooking on Christmas day. That  is my way of celebrating. If we do not get an invitation from family or friends, we will usually go to a nice restaurant and eat there. So this Christmas 2011, we went to my mother-in-laws house. Its always nice to spend time with family during the holidays.

She had her former classmates, a couple from Nyeri, over for Christmas lunch. That is people she went to school with over 40 years ago. I have come to respect experience more as i grow older. I believe we can learn something from a couple that has been together for 40 yrs or more.I could not appreciate their company more especially for what i learned from them. They talked about raising kids and marriage in a lengthy way. They said that the one you are with right now is your best bet.The others out there are the 'unknown'. They are unpredictable and unreliable. When hardship strikes, the one you have been with will be there for you more the one you are trying to be with.

In 2011, I have seen many couples split.I asked this couple why there is so much divorce in America and they corrected me by saying, that it has nothing to do with America but individual couples. The biggest issue is communication. If the two people do not work on their comunication, their marriage will end up dead. They said if you do not know how to communicate with your partner, seek help because that is the olny way to save a marriage today.

Sounds very basic but it is profound.The lack of communication is what is ending many marriages. This is the kind of communication is started early in the relationship not in the thick of things.

Therefore no matter the problems you are facing, the attraction to another or the differences, Love the one you are with and work on your communication. Learn to tell them things like,   "I do not like the way you chew your food, instead of pouting and sitting at the corner, far as away from them when they are chomping down their steak loudly.." etc. You might be surprised when they say  ' oh i am sorry. I did not realize that.

Stick with them and help make them better, unless, ( of course) if they are trying to murder you.